Sunday 20 September 2009

Witchy Poo Part One

I think the single thing that has given me the most grief while my arm has been out of commission has been the inability to create. Normally, I have several ... or more ... creative projects of some kind on the go. This past while I haven't been able to work on any of them.

Today I decided to push my recuperation by doing a little hand sewing. I sat at the dining table so I could support my arm on it the whole time. It's aching like a mild toothache now, BUT I CREATED SOMETHING! My arm might give me an uncomfortable night tonight, but my psyche sure feels a lot better! Here's what I started ... a soft-sculpture witch. Since the best way to get acquainted with any creature is to see its face, I started with the head.

Step one ... cut the reinforced toe and band at top of a knee high stocking. This is a well worn and washed stocking with a few snags in it, but no holes or runs. It's your basic generic beige colour. Taupe works well for witches too.Make the top cut at an angle instead of cutting straight along the band. This is important! Then sew a running stitch along the cut edge of the knee-end, and pull the circle of stitches up tight, like so:You don't have to be perfect with your sewing for this project, which makes it a great project for inexperienced sewers and people with gimpy arms! This is the stuff I use to stuff:I bought a ginormous industrial sized bag of it when our local Fabricland was closing out. Any poly fiberfill stuffing will do. Grab a big wad of the stuff and roll it into a big loose pear shape:Then stuff it into the stocking with the wider part of the pear away from your stitched end.I added an extra ball of stuffing on each side of the pear to widen out the bottom part more. Your stitched end should be at the back of the pear, near the top, like so:If not, squoosh things around until it is located this way. Next, I took a smaller wad of stuffing and made a smaller pear shape ...... which I stuffed into the front of the larger pear. This is the beginnings of Witchy Poo's nose. I was thinking LARGE nose.At this point, I could almost see her face! (Okay, I might have an active imagination.) I added another ball of stuffing below the smaller pear. This would become her chin.
Notice the clothes pin holding the neck end closed while I worked. Since her nose is the most prominent part of her face, I stitched around it first.I used sturdy brown quilting thread. If you don't have quilting thread, you can double regular sewing thread. There's nothing more annoying than broken thread when you don't want it! Bring your needle through to the top of the nose "pear" from the stiched ends at the back of the head, then do a running stitch around the general shape of a pear, or nose, or triangle. Perfection is not necessary. In fact, a crooked nose is a good thing for Witchy Poo! Make sure you catch a bit of the stuffing with each stitch. Then pull your stitches up tight to "gather" up the nose, and take a couple of small stitches, or tie a small knot, to hold the stitches tight. Continue to shape the nose by stitching back and forth from side to side of the nose from about the top of the nostrils up to the top of the nose. Pull your stitches tight, and make a small knot to hold the stitches tight. It's like magic! That lump of stuffing really starts LOOKING like a nose! Push your needle through to where you think one eye should be, and ...... stitch some eye crinkles. Pull your stitches up tight and make a small knot to hold them tight, then pass your needle through the forehead area to where the other eye should be, and repeat. Here's Witchy Poo with finished eye crinkles, and cheeks. Her cheeks are a simple U-shaped line of running stitches pulled tight enough to give the shape I wanted. I also stitched her a couple of nostrils. I have given her cheeks a bit of powdered blush. I have also given her a couple of warts ... stitch a small circle of stitches and pull up nice and tight. This is a good place to knot off your thread when you're running short, and a bit of dangling thread coming from a wart looks like the wart is sprouting hairs! I have given her warts a bit of green powdered eye shadow. If your thread is running short and you don't want to add warts, try to stitch through to your gathered stitches at the back/top of head to knot off. Next, a mouth.
I stitched a slightly downturned ... unhappy or grumpy ... mouth, and added a line of powdered blush along the stitches BEFORE I pulled the stitches up tight. This is important as it is really difficult to colour the mouth after drawing stitches tight. Here is her finished mouth:


Now I can see how I want to shape her chin, which I do by stitching a large "W" under her mouth.I also gave her another wart on her chin. Her nostrils also got a dab of powdered green eyeshadow ... YUCK! I also added powdered green eyeshadow around her button eyes, and dusted the end of her nose, her chin, and her forehead with a bit of powdered blush. I gave her small grey buttons for eyes, and sewed them on firmly by stitching right through to the gathered stitches at the back of her head. I added grumpy eyebrows with the black thread I used to sew her eyes on, but did not pull them very tight. She has definately taken on unique characteristics! Here's her side profiles:You might be alarmed about the weird shape of her head, but you needn't be. She will eventually have hair and a hat and will look just fine! Here is Witchy Poo with a little more stuffing in her neck:
BOO! Her head is now ready for a body. Stay tuned!

Friday 18 September 2009

Little Things Around My Office

I'm not famous for noticing little details ... especially in familiar surroundings like my office. I work there five or six days a week. I don't pay attention to IT. I pay attention to my work. I think the last time I paid attention to IT was last January when we had new carpet installed.


My receptionist leaves at noon on Fridays, and for the rest of this afternoon, I was alone with one volunteer busy making phone calls in the office across the hall from me. It was so quiet, I took the time to look around my own office.


Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I noticed these nail holes ...
... in the wall by my clock. I should have filled them when I painted my walls last January. Maybe I should cover them up with ...
... this mirror that has been living on my office floor for the past several months. It used to hang in our front office, but my receptionist rearranged it out of there ... and onto the floor in my office. (Pardon the bare feet ... the shoes just won't stay on Friday afternoon!) Or maybe I should cover up ...
... these scratches on the wall beside my filing cabinet. Of course, I could always move my filing cabinet away from the wall so I don't scratch it when I unlock it! It doesn't NEED to be right against the wall. Speaking of need, why do I need this ...
... goat hand puppet in my bookcase? It's SO annoying! Whenever you touch it, it sings "The Lonely Goat Herd" (yodel-lady-yodel-lady-yodel-lady-who!) and then that damned song is stuck in my head for the next week! What I DO need is more lovely bright (silent) things like this ...
... hand-painted wood tray. It was an Easter gift from Little Madam C. ...
... who painted (even in the four corners) and decorated it with her baby brother (whom she ALLOWED to include his smaller initial in a corner) just for me. I love it. And would love more pretty bright things like this around. However, NOT bright shiny things like ...
... this ginormous diamond ring brooch that lives on top of my computer tower. It was a gag gift. I didn't get it. Still don't. It's just ... tacky. Back in January, I did NOT think this ...
... nice cushion for my easy chair was tacky. I thought it was a tasteful and useful addition to my upgraded office decor. Perhaps I'm the only one who thinks so, as every single person that sits in that chair throws the cushion on the floor before they sit down! I don't understand! Nor do I understand ...
... why my framed certificates are all hanging crooked. I actually used a level to make sure they were nice and even back last January. And what the heck is with the UNFRAMED certificate stuck to the wall with a push pin??? It's not like the local Dollar Store is inaccessible and a single frame costs a fortune! This display is just ... tacky. It goes perfectly with ...
... the plant that insists on growing only to the left and AWAY FROM the light. Perhaps I shouldn't complain about the plant. It's alive ...
... unlike all three of these staplers currently residing on the shelf above my computer! And look at that dust! You would never believe our janitor gets paid about $37 an hour, would you? These three dead staplers go really well with ...
... this two-thirds dead printer-copier-scanner (the scanner part still works) that's been reclining on my desk since May. And speaking of May, I bought sushi for lunch one day last May, and these ...
... chopsticks fell under my desk and have resided there ever since. (See above comment about our janitor.) Never mind ... they're still in a sealed package, so if I have a mad urge for sushi for lunch I'll be able to use them! Of course, winter is fast approaching, and sushi for lunch is more of a summer thing. And that's okay too ... I looked behind my office door this afternoon and noticed ...
... my winter boots still abandoned there from last spring. I suspect I'll be needing them before I get the urge to eat sushi again! One last mystery ... where is my tasteful wicker wastepaper basket? And why are there two ...
... unfamiliar plastic garbage cans under my desk? I REALLY need to have a wee chat with our janitor!



Right after I spend a couple of hours paying attention to my own office clutter ...

Sunday 13 September 2009

The Joy of Living Alone ...

... or The Adventures Of a One-Winged Woman, Part Two ...The arm has healed to the point of being more itchy and annoying than painful now. A few more days and I'll be saying ADIOS! to this sling, and none too soon as it has become a real PAIN IN THE NECK! Why would someone invent an arm sling with a narrow strap that digs into your neck??? Last time I wore a fabric sling, it was the folded fabric square variety, which may have been old-fashioned, but it was way more comfortable!

Several of my friends and co-workers maintain that it is useful to share living space with another human being, especially when said human being is of the human male species. I live alone, and can always come up with plenty of reasons to counter their cohabitation suggestions. For example ...... I never have to argue with myself over leaving the toilet seat up! Or tell myself off for sprinkling outside the assigned area! And ...... I ALWAYS get to read whatever darned part of the newspaper first that I want to read! And ...... I ALWAYS get to lick the spoon /spatula myself when I make chocolate cake!

However, over the past two weeks, I have become excruciatingly aware of MANY things that are beyond the capabilities of a one-winged human LIVING ALONE, such as ...... doing up / undoing zippers and buttons. THAT certainly has limited my professional work-day wardrobe choices! And don't even get my started about this one-armed inability to get into and fasten up a bra ... I've never been so acutely aware of SOUTH before! Also ...... peeling potatoes. There is simply NO POSSIBLE WAY to accomplish that feat one-handed! I LOVE baked potato skins with lots of chives and cheese and sour cream ... but the amount of potato skins consumed out of necessity these past couple of weeks is just ... annoying! And ...... there are OTHER IMPORTANT TASKS I've had no choice but to accomplish with my NON-DOMINANT HAND ... well ... we'll just say no more on that, alright?Do you realize the only use I've had for knitting needles for the past two weeks has been SCRATCHING THE ITCH of my busted arm? I'm about to lapse into irreversible knitting withdrawal here!





So does all this indicate I am now advocating for cohabitation?





NOT!





I am sufficiently ambidextrous to feed myself quite well ...
... made a big pot of fabulous old-fashioned hamburger soup this weekend. Yes, it was fab even with unpeeled potatoes! Couldn't knit over the weekend, but I kept myself well-entertained with another Peter King novel ...
... Spiced to Death. I'm really enjoying Peter King novels. Just the right blend of mystery and food. Of course, reading about all that food made me hungry, so ...
... I had to help myself to another serving of chocolate cake. With fudge sauce. (Chocolate makes EVERYTHING better!) Which I was able to do because I didn't have to SHARE with anyone else in the first place!





I am woman! I live alone!

Sunday 6 September 2009

Labour Day Weekend 2009

The last holiday weekend of the summer is usually invigorating for me. It spells the (almost) end of extreme summer heat, which is a huge relief. The older I get, the more I hate summer heat! I took this photo at the bottom of "University Hill" the other morning. When we're greeted with low cloud cover like this, you know summer is coming to an end. Labour Day weekend also spells the beginning of new school terms. While I have a grandaughter experiencing the joy and excitement of her first days in kindergarten, and two friends who are off embarking on nursing programs in other cities, I am not returning to school myself this September. Last year, I started a graduate program via distance ed, and I've come to the conclusion that obtaining my Master's degree via that method is not for me. I miss classrooms. I miss human interaction and debate and the complexity of humans sharing ideas face to face. So I'm in academic limbo until I figure out what to do. Maybe I'll head back up "University Hill" to my friendly local campus?

This weekend is not what I expected at all. I was invited on a fishing trip.




I'm not fishing.




The alternative was a sewing weekend at home.




I'm not sewing either.




Last Monday, I had a close encounter with a sidewalk. I stepped backward in an attempt to avoid a collision with a rude dude in a hurry, realized I was off-balance, and tried to quickly step forward to regain my balance.




Didn't work. I left a few patches of skin on the sidewalk. Here's my left knee ...... right after the fall and before the kaleidoscope of bruises started to show. Fortunately, my knees were not seriously damaged. My glasses, however, were ...... and if you know me at all, you know I really can't function without my glasses! Fortunately, I keep the previous pair of glasses for just such emergencies. I'll spare you the picture of my face. I skidded along the sidewalk on my left cheek bone. It felt like it was happening in slow motion, and I remember thinking "this must really hurt!" I'm not sure what position my left arm was in while I was thinking this, but it received the most damage ...... I tried to shrug it off as just scraped and bruised, but by that evening, knew I wasn't going to pull it off. I had to face up to the reality of fractured and torn. Consequently, my left wing is now out of commission for the next couple of weeks, and will require some physiotherapy after that. DAMN! (I'd say worse things than that, but Motrin is keeping the pain at bearable limits.)




So here it is the long weekend, and I'm doing everything with one hand. I have no problem typing one-handed, although it's a little slower going. There are a number of things I can't figure out how to do one-handed, such as putting on my bra, doing up buttons, opening the jam jar, and opening the front door of my building. Thankfully, neighbours have helped out with the door thing ... the rest of that list I'll just keep to myself!




Here's one of the sewing projects I was going to work on this weekend ... felted coasters. I did this first part of the project two weekends ago. First, I knitted four big squares out of some Noro wool that I've had buried in my stash for years.I knitted them fairly loose, about 5 stitches to an inch on 5 mm needles.Then I felted the finished squares by hand by squooshing them around in the kitchen sink in warm water with a few squirts of dish soap.Contrary to what many people think, you do not need super hot water or washing machine agitation to felt wool. You only need warm water and dish soap and the patience to work the wool between your hands until the desired degree of felting is accomplished. Here are the felted squares laid out to dry:



Sorry, fuzzy picture! These squares are quite densely felted ... no individual knitting stitches visible now. The next step will be folding the four corners in to the centre so that each looks like four triangles on one side and one square on the other side (does that make sense?) and then add tassels to the outside corners.






So how am I entertaining myself this long weekend???
Reading ... "Baked to Death" by Dean James ... a light-hearted British tale combining modern-day vampires and medievalist re-enactors. Watching DVDs ... the first entire season of "Deadwood" ... America's Wild West at its raunchiest and rawest. Playing computer games ... Sims 3 ... for the first time ever, I have played an invented character throughout an entire life span, birth to death. It was quite a surprising moment when she popped out of her body and faced the Grim Reaper!
What are YOU doing this long weekend???