Thursday, 1 August 2013

Three Tales from the Balcony

FIRST TALE:  Balcony Appies

Once upon a time, one VERY hot afternoon, a slightly bored human went out onto the balcony in search of a perfect before-dinner appetizer.
She took a container of salty Kalamata black olives with her on this quest, and browsed the available balcony vegetation.  She started with a bitter lettuce leaf, added a sweet pea pod, and then a tiny HOT pepper, as well as an olive.

She rolled these items up like a cigar, and munched them down.  Then she browsed the balcony vegetation again and rolled a different selection around an olive.

She repeated this over and over, washing each fresh creation down with "something chilled", and contemplating mystery and intrigue on the balcony.

SECOND TALE:  Jack's Bean Stalk

Hey!  That doesn't LOOK LIKE a pea shoot!  I know I've been enjoying Balcony Appies, but I'm quite certain those aren't pea leaves!

And look there ... behind Rhonda and Rhoda the Flamingo twins ... climbing up the post!  That doesn't LOOK LIKE parsley!  Parsley does NOT climb balcony posts!
AH HA!  Tight little red flower buds!  I think I might have an answer to THIS balcony mystery ...

Jack's bean stalk is climbing up onto OUR balcony from the balcony directly below!

I wonder WHO or WHAT is going to climb up the bean stalk???
THIRD TALE:  Potato Assassination Plot
I am a Norfolk Pine.  As far as seven year old Norfolk Pines go, I'm rather average in size.

Us Norfolk Pines do not grow at extraordinary rates.  We generally produce one modest quartet of branches a year.  I think this year's quartet of branches is quite ... well ... modest.  Norfolk Pines are not generally prone to extravagance.

Unlike the "patio pot-sized" tomatoes who also live on our balcony ... they are growing and spreading at the most alarming rate!  Really!  Such a ridiculous show is quite uncalled for!  And a terribly unnecessary waste of water!

The tomatoes, however, are NOTHING compared to the potato!  Our human planted one little organic potato in the bottom of a giant plastic pot.  Oh, how I laughed!  That little potato looked so silly way down there in that big pot ... it was even too little to see over the edge!
And then the little potato grew ... and GREW ... and GREW!

Now that damned potato is TALLER THAN ME!  I can't see around it anymore!  As if living next to a crazed tomato isn't difficult nough!  The little potato has even STARTED BLOOMING!  What a show off!  It makes me feel so terribly ordinary and ... rather insignificant.

 I can't take it anymore! 
(No potatoes were harmed during the photography for these tales.  However, Bud the Spud has sent a plea for assistance via Jack's Bean Stalk to the Witness Protection Program.)







1 comment:

slj said...

Ha-Ha...Love the little stories.. will be interesting to see who or what climbs up the
I wish I had started some veggies in a bucket..
Enjoy your week-end,