Wednesday, 16 November 2011

time to go shopping

So the other night, as I struggled into my apartment building and out of my jacket and wrap whilst juggling six bags of groceries at the same time as my purse and lunch bag, a resident from the second floor stopped to chat.

Okay, I KNOW you're wondering why I was struggling out of my jacket and wrap at the same time as struggling into the building, right?  It's cuz every bloody building is TOO DAMNED HOT!  Especially in entrance foyers.  And I live on the third floor.  Heat rises.  That means if it's already too hot for me at ground level, I'm going to be overheated to the passing out point by the time I haul me and my baggage up three flights of stairs.

But I digress.

That's NOT the story.  The story is about chatting with the fella from the second floor.  Sort of.

All the time we were chatting, he kept darting glances at my ... er ... chest.  I was wearing a white teeshirt.  Respectable enough to wear to work under a jacket (blazer), but white.  White as in somewhat see-through.  No matter, I thought to myself as said fella kept looking, I was respectable UNDER the teeshirt with both "girls" appropriately "lifted and separated".  Besides, I'm not really all that well endowed, or at least not to the point of having male conversation aimed at my chest instead of my face.  But he KEPT glancing in THAT direction, and his face and ears turned more and more PINK

I didn't want to look down to see what the heck he was staring at as my chest was already getting quite enough attention thank you, so I concluded our conversation and went upstairs to my own apartment.  Once divested of grocery bags and so on, I had a look in the mirror in my living room.

Oh oh!

Seems I had a bad case of ... er ... "mis-aligned headlights"!  My left "headlight" was indeed appropriately lifted and separated, but my right "headlight" had escaped its "foundation" and was "heading south" like the free spirit that it truly wants to be!  And remember, it's below zero up here, and even free spirits "stand at attention" at that temperature ... clearly evident under a white teeshirt!

Damn!  There was me thinking my bras had gone through enough wash cycles to finally get comfortable!  Apparently it's time to go bra shopping ...


slj said...

Too funny..(well, maybe not for you)..
We've all had those time you take your jacket off, I guess you'll have to LOOK

Black Jack's Carol said...

I love it that you told this story:) Apart from the fact that you tell it so well, it highlights your ability to laugh at yourself. I would love to have been a fly on the resident's wall if he had someone with whom to share his experience.