No hu-moms or dawgs were injured in the making of this post.
Sunday, 28 March 2010
It's tough to be a cat on Saturdays
Note: this post is written by Miss Boots.
My hu-mom has Gone To Work on Saturdays since I came to live here, but yesterday, she didn't. She stayed home all day. We did not have a good day. First, my hu-mom SLEPT IN ......until AFTER 6:00 am! I tried and tried to tell her The Dark was over and it was time for her to get up and get my breakfast, but she put the pillow over her head and IGNORED ME! The nerve! When she finally did get moving and I had finished my usual breakfast, she put some yummy BACON on to cook ... ... and WOULDN'T SHARE IT WITH ME! I could really have gone for a few morsels of bacon for "afters"! She even had the nerve to give me a bowl of dried kibble instead ...... when I pointed out how the unfairness (it is rather good kibble -- chicken, turkey, and duck flavoured -- but that's not the point!) . I should have known my day was only going to go downhill after that! I left her in the dining room enjoying her bacon and retired to the bedroom for my usual after breakfast nap under her quilt. I had just nicely fallen asleep when my hu-mom ripped the quilt and blanket and sheets off the bed. That's right ... she stripped the bed right down to the mattress! I thought to myself "oh dear, now where will I nap?" Fortunately, I found the pile of sheets and blankets in the rocking chair out in the living room, I thought she was just doing me a favour -- a change of scenery so to speak -- so I climbed into that lovely cozy nest for my morning nap. I guess I should have known better ...... she shooed me out of there and took the sheets and blankets down the hall to the Washing Machine! Well! I totally gave up on my nap and went into the litter box room to play in the tub. My hu-mom has little bottles of Smelly Bubbles on the edge of the tub and they roll really well when I swat them. It's quite entertaining, really. But wouldn't you know it, I just got started with that game, and my hu-mom shooed me out of the litter box room ...... and wiped everything in sight down with icky smelly BLEACH! Honestly! I had to let the room air out for HOURS before I could use my own litter box again! My hu-mom seemed determined to keep my up from my nap and make my life miserable after that. She got out The Noisy Machine ...... and ran it back and forth over all the floors. I truly don't understand the point of that annoying exercise! I hid under the dining room table, and almost fell asleep there. Yes, you guessed correctly ... ... my hu-mom shooed me out of my hiding place and used The Noisy Machine on all four of the dining room chair pads. She even said a nasty word when she used The Noisy Machine on my favourite chair pad! She was SERIOUSLY getting on my nerves, but I'm basically your fun-loving helpful kitty, so I decided to put the sofa cushions down on the floor so my hu-mom could use The Noisy Machine on them. I guess she didn't want my help ...... because she said another bad word and then gave me heck! I suppose I'm a little bit too forgiving in the hu-mom department because then I tried to help her by chewing off those pesky dangling straps on her Gone To Work shoes ...... and she gave me heck again! Before my hu-mom put The Noisy Machine away, she decided to brush me. By that time, I. WAS. NOT. IN. THE. MOOD. I warned her! I warned her that it was way past my nap time, and that this pretty kitty needs her beauty rest, and without adequate beauty rest this pretty kitty can be ever so slightly irritable, but she insisted on brushing me anyhow. She brushed out a lot of hot itchy fur, and it felt really good -- but that's not the point! My hu-mom is SUPPOSED TO brush me when I DEMAND brushing, not when she feels like it ... especially after she's been such a miserable hu-mom all morning! So I bit the brush to point out who is The Queen around here and who schedules my brushings and who determines when enough brushing is enough. I might have bit my hu-mom a little bit too. BUT IT WAS ACCIDENTAL! HONEST! I don't think she believed me when I told her it was an accident and that really hurt my feelings ...... so I sat under the rocking chair and glared at her for a long time. I wanted to make it VERY CLEAR that I was finally PUSSED! RIGHT! OFF! She put The Noisy Machine away and made herself one of those nasty Boiling Hot Beverages and sat down to do some stitching.I was so Pussed Off that I didn't even offer to help! It didn't take very long before my hu-mom made a big old knot in her thread and had to put it aside. Serves her right! I thought she might apologize to me then. Instead, she put on a movie ...... with a NOISY DAWG in it! You would think she'd choose a movie we could both enjoy! I told the Noisy Dawg on the screen that it wasn't welcome in our apartment, and my hu-mom TOLD ME TO MOVE OUT OF THE WAY! But I can't help myself, I'm basically your fun-loving helpful kitty, and I was willing to let bygones be bygones and to help my hu-mom ...
...with the new pair of socks she started knitting. Oh, I just don't know why I bother to be helpful, really I don't! She complained because the wool got tangled and ACCIDENTALLY BROKE while I was helping!
Let me tell you, it's darned tough to be a cat on Saturdays when one's hu-mom stays at home!